Memorial to Cocoa

Cocoa, Brandon and Bitsie Buell

October 15, 1999 a special day in dog history, our history, Cocoa’s history. A litter of Shih Tzu puppies made their way to the planet and one of those, a boy, was destined for our house; the long way.

He was initially purchased by a family as a companion for their little girl. Cocoa’s breeding and some environmental factors proved too much for them and an unhappy and mistreated Cocoa found his way to Fuzzy Paws Shih Tzu Rescue. When our search for a companion for our little girl, Bitsie led us to Petfinder.com, we found Cocoa and were approved (after a rigorous approval process) to adopt Cocoa and be his forever home. Have you been through this process?? I wholeheartedly understand the intentions, but at the time, for the life of me, I couldn’t understand how good I had to be to get a dog somebody else already didn’t want. Cocoa taught me, over time, why not just anyone could have been his family.

Can I say that we were elated? The day we got the call I was in the car on the way to Oshkosh (an hour’s drive from Madison) to meet him and pick him up. He had been lovingly fostered by Barbara Pressley of Diamond Dynasty Shih Tzu. The drive home was very fun, I chatted and chatted at Cocoa the whole way, he by the way, just sat in his bed on the front seat and let me do the talking. I thought this will work out just fine, as Bitsie had bonded with Brandon, I thought “finally a dog of my VERY own.”

On our drive home, I called Karis Finley and asked her to come by when I got home to meet Cocoa and help make him feel welcome. The four of us, Bitsie, Cocoa, Karis and I were getting along swimmingly; made a couple of potty trips and enjoyed some treats while we waited for Brandon to get home. We quickly learned what “skittish around men” meant. That final trip potty before bed was the last time we saw Cocoa for seven days and seven nights, he took one look at Brandon and zoom, he was gone!

Let me tell you about the force that came out for those 7 days to look for our Cocoa, a dog that none of them had ever seen and I myself had only “owned” for 2 hours before I lost him. The crying begins. Friends from work, people from the rescue, family from out of town, friends and neighbors all hit the streets, hung posters, called the police and tried to keep me, Cocoa’s bad mommy, from losing my mind. We strolled the streets of Cottage Grove, squeaking toys, shaking treats and calling his name. We had just about lost hope, when another “Cocoa spotting” came in. Someone had seen the poster and miraculously then saw Cocoa and called us. We picked him up at the Cenex gas station, crying our eyes out and thanking that mystery angel profusely. He had been found in an empty lot immediately next door to our house, but we had been responding to a “Cocoa spotting” that had come in hours earlier and were a couple of blocks away.

Whew! With that crisis behind us it was time to address the matter at hand. It was now the second week in October and Cocoa’s third birthday was just around the corner and he had been formally introduced to no one. I am goofy and I like a party, so a big homecoming/birthday party seemed just the way to introduce our baby boy to our dog-loving family and friends. Please see the picture of the party. My dad and I took the pictures, so that makes two. Count the remaining people and the dogs in the picture. That’s right at perfect 1:1 people to dog ratio! We had so much fun and the guest of honor even got to open his gifts in front of everyone to a bevy of “ooohs” and “aaahs”.

It turns out that when you throw elaborate parties for your dog and shower them with goodies, they feel as though you work for them and are higher up in the “pack” than you. This became evident one night when I inadvertently scared him and he charged me and bit me in the face. A time later I suffered a bite to the nose and a trip to the emergency room. Through these trials we learned a great deal about Cocoa, dog behavior and ourselves. The vet suggested he be put down. I refused this suggestion and asked what the other options were. Actually there was just one option, Cocoa was to serve his quarantine and we were to take him to see a behaviorist. When friends and family learned what a behaviorist did and cost, we got more votes for the first suggestion. This recommendation was not even a consideration to us as we had promised each other, God and Cocoa that we were in for the long haul. As in the same way we are our parent’s responsibility, Cocoa was ours and we were going to “love him through this” which we did to a fair bit of success.

Cocoa didn’t bite anyone else and we learned to read the signals he sent. Cocoa’s breeding had given him something similar to the “Cocker Rage” you hear about happening in spaniels. We learned to watch for the signals and to diffuse Cocoa when it looked like he’d be having an episode.

So for the next few years or so, we enjoyed our Cocoa and our Cocoa enjoyed us. We took him to dog parks, pet stores, parades and to Castle Rock Lake. Cocoa also really enjoyed his time with his “best friend” and former neighbor, Sadie Hermsmeier. Sadie is a beautiful Golden Retriever (who says dogs from different AKC groups can’t be friends?) Cocoa never understood how Sadie could move so quickly and Sadie appreciated that Cocoa would just sit and watch her run. Luckily for the Hermsmeiers and their dog boutique site, good-doggie.com, Cocoa was not camera shy and was willing to “model” for them. We jokingly said he was a “plus-sized model” as he tipped the scales at a whopping 25 pounds, a tad bit over the shih tzu breed standard of 16 pounds. We tried putting him on diets and increasing his exercise, but like so many Cocoa just couldn’t drop those extra pounds. We also commented that by his round build and negative profile (his nose was practically behind his eyes) he is what a real bull shih t would look like.

The days of our happy dual shih tzu home, were cut radically short. Much due in part to his breeding, Cocoa had some looming health concerns his whole life; that as much as we loved him, we couldn’t cure him of. In the early hours of July 9, 2008 Cocoa had a coughing fit and we rushed him in to the emergency vet at about 4 a.m. The vet on staff tried to perform some tests to see what was happening. As she would insert the needle into Cocoa’s veins they would explode and she couldn’t draw enough to complete the tests. While we were there, she also noticed that he was covered in bruises and broken blood vessels, additionally his throat was swelling shut, and his coughing continued. She delivered the news that we didn’t go there to hear. Our Cocoa was suffering from 1 of 3 conditions that without the blood work she couldn’t identify exactly or save him from, cancer, renal failure, or a disease that I am unable to remember the name of. How could this be? We had loved him through the aggression, the weight gain, the carpet accidents and the snoring. How could we be standing in an emergency vet’s office in the middle of the night with no option to love him through? Brandon and I both broke down into tears. I called my family and told them our situation, they knew and loved our boy as well and I wanted them to be current with what was going on. We made the decision to end Cocoa’s suffering and we buried him at my folks’ farm. He always enjoyed his time there and to us it seemed just a little bit closer to Heaven.

We never thought that when he arrived at our door that we’d truly love him as much as we did. We never imagined that losing him would hurt as much as it did and we didn’t expect the outpouring of love and sympathy from our friends and family that we got, but they did.

Offer up your home to an animal in need. God put us here to tend to the creatures; by showing them compassion we show Him compassion. Tell those you love, you do and if you knew Cocoa, smile when you think about him.